he puts the penis in happiness.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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