just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
