Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
