textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
