Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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