her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
