then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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