I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We were destined to go to rehab together
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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