Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
