i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
