I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
