Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
