u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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