Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
