The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
