So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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