last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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