So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
