the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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