He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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