so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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