only if we run a train.
done.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
