Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
