drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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