yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
