would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
