from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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