Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
