How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize