how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
