Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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