Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
