escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
