I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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