There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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