yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
