you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is the high leading the old right now
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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