so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
