After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
