Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he thought i was a dude.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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