oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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