Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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