was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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