I wish I could teleport
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
