he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
