You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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