Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
