your room smells of hookers.
And success
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
