Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
