So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
