Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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