she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
