Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
do herpes really smell.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
