He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
