hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
