you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
