I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
