Bisexual people are plain selfish.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
