i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
