nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just gift wrapped bread.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
