So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
