just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
