Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
is that a dick in a sweater?
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