At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
